Clive

I just love C.S. Lewis.  He has the best way of saying everything.

"Our whole being, by its very nature, is one vast need; incomplete, preparatory, empty yet cluttered, crying out to Him who can untie things that are now knotted together and tie up things that are still dangling loose." C.S. Lewis

 I so often hate being a needy, crazy mess.  Thankfully, I'm not alone.  We all are! 

Lately

I haven't blogged in a while... mostly because my schedule in the past month has been far from typical and my heart and mind have been all over the place.  Now, I'm back in Gainesville and making an attempt to get back into the swing of things.  I have been learning so much lately, with little time to sit quietly before the Lord and let it all soak in.  I'm starting the process, little by little, and so far this is what has taken form.


"Stare at Jesus.  Glance at all else."  This simple statement struck a chord in my heart that continues to resonate.  It's definitely not profound, earth-shattering, new information.  In fact, it's straight from scripture (Hebrews 12:1-2).  It also reminds me of one of my favorite hymns, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.  But for some reason, this idea continues to lay heavy on my heart.  I am recognizing that this is very untrue of my life right now.  I stare at so many different things, and then occasionally cast a glance at the Almighty Jesus.  It's ridiculous!  I want the words of this beautiful hymn to describe the way I live daily:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

In keeping with the theme of hymns, I also am continually being brought back to the idea of Christ as my Solid Rock.  I love knowing Him as unshakable, steady, strong, and secure.  This brings a deep-seated confidence to my soul that allows me to find rest and peace.  Again, I love the language of this old hymn:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

Yes, Amen!  All other ground is sinking sand. 

Giving my life away

"Do you know what discipleship is?  It's passing on your disease.  It's taking whatever germs of conviction you've been infected with, and breathing them all over somebody.  When you spend time with a disciple at your appointment, when you're hanging out downtown having pizza, breathe all over them what God has done in your life.  They will catch what you've got.  That's discipleship."

I love this.  I want this to be what my life is all about.  I want to give all of myself away to people and pour the love of Christ out on them.  I want my love for God to be contagious and spread to everyone I cross paths with.  Let's all pass on our disease.  

3 words

At our staff prayer meeting last week, we all had to think back over the semester and come up with three words that describe what our spiritual life has been like. I wanted to share them with you. I'll hopefully share more in detail later, but here's a little preview:

1. growing
2. dependent
3. blessed

Confession

Two things:
1. I avoid hard things. (Confrontation, allowing myself to fail, etc.) I want everything to be easy, breezy.
2. I don't want to wait... for anything. I want results now.

Doesn't this sound like a 2 year old? Why am I so immature??!!

I have been reading a book called How People Grow for my New Staff Development with Campus Crusade. The past few chapters have been so revealing. Here are a few things that really connected with me. The authors say it much better than I could, so I just snagged some quotes. :)

" Avoidance of conflict or compliance with others are often less difficult than working through issues."

"If we are humble, we will be willing to allow something uncomfortable to happen to us if it is the right thing to do. This is because part of being humble means not perceiving ourselves to have rights or privileges that we do not possess."

"Remember, that Israel was given the Promised Land, but they had to wait 40 years to possess it."

"Some people deny their experience, trying to be strong and saying, 'This doesn't hurt me'. Others insist their righteousness should prevent their suffering, saying, 'Why me? I've been good'. Still others attempt to avoid suffering altogether saying, 'Because this is uncomfortable, I will not experience it'; they thwart suffering's growth benefits."

"Jesus turns our natural bents upside down. In the world's view, the path to glory is being 'on top of it' or 'having it all together'. In Jesus' way, the path to glory is experiencing pain and suffering: 'Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory'."

One of the girls at UF reminded me of this song... I think it perfectly explains where I am right now and what I want my heart to desire.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as your disciple in Your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing You my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You
Lead me on and I will run after You

I'm going to brag.

My friends are the best. I really, truly think that I have the greatest people in my life that anyone could have. One thing I love most about them - they are freaking hilarious. Anytime I talk to them, get an email, a text, etc.... I'm usually laughing. Honestly, I'm not that cool so I'm not sure how I ended up with these awesome people in my life. I'm just thankful they keep me laughing at life and myself, as well as appreciating all things quirky and weird. Thanks God for putting some super cool peeps in my life.